Bond Returns! Eventually…

16 Jan

Doesn’t it seem like eons since Quantum of Solace came to the screen? Hasn’t it been ages since we were all discussing whether that Jack White/Alicia Keys theme song was any good (personally I liked Chris Cornell’s ditty for Casino Royale better)? It even feels such a long time since there was a bit of speculation about whether Daniel Craig would even return as 007. But rest assured, it’s coming back. Yes, seriously this time.

The next installment has been pinned for a 2012 release. Or, more specific November 9 2012 (that’s pretty darn specific for a movie that hasn’t even started shooting yet). And Sam Mendes is still directing! But I wonder if that’s actually a good thing: I associate Mendes more with low-key indie or drama (American Beauty, Revolutionary Road, Away We Go) rather than action-packed thrillers. Perhaps this suggests that Bond may be taking a more “classic” turn, less about explosions and gunfire every two minutes and more about, y’know, plot development and actually knowing what’s going on – two things Quantum of Solace didn’t really have. Oh, and it might have some emotion in it so you actually feel depressed when people die or genuinely satisfied when Bond gets his man. Because Bond never really did have a heart, did it (except to be unintentionally hilarious at times)?

But the real question on everyone’s lips is…. what’s the title going to be? Okay, it’s only me asking this question but after Quantum of Solace (what is it? What does it mean?!) surely the title of the Bond movies couldn’t get any dafter or, honestly, meaningless. The best titles have been the ones you can make a song out of, which explains why all the Shirley Bassey tunes are the best theme songs. So maybe we’ll get something more classic from New Bond. Or not. Mendes’ film could surprise everyone by being called something outrageous like “Astrophysical Vortex of Entity”, a title so pretentious and convoluted it’s almost perfect for Craig’s third outing as the special agent.

For now we just don’t have enough information to actually determine where the new Bond is going, so all of my admittedly really stupid speculation is likely to be proved completely wrong, perhaps with the revelation that the next Bond will be a 3D extravaganza where our very British hero spends the duration of the movie filing paperwork for M but *gasp* he didn’t fill a form out right, leading to the internal collapse of MI6.

But what do you think? Where is Bond going? What will it be called? No suggestion is too silly!

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