Never Trust A Beady Eye

22 Nov

Remember a time when Oasis used to play noisily in some Manchester basement hoping that one day they’d be the next Beatles by covering them incessantly? Feel nostalgic for a time when “Champagne Supernova” turned Oasis into the rubbish version of a psychedelic Beatles (you know, that phase where it was confirmed their poutinesses were officially up themselves)? Well glory hallelujah! You’re in luck because Liam – he of the weird haircut – has just released the first song from his Beady Eye project “Bring The Light”.

Sooo…. Yeah. It’s completely ripping off the Beatles. And, is it just me or can you get an extremely vivid image of backing singers who are completely rooted to the spot but manage to do that swing dance. It’s a skill every backing singer needs. Oh, and this also confirms two things:

  1. Liam Gallagher can’t write a good song to save his life
  2. Liam Gallagher can’t sing a song to safe his life

Now that’s all been cleared up, can I now say that this was exactly the kind of reason why I pretty much cheered when Oasis split up? When I heard the news I couldn’t, because many of the people I was surrounded with were pretty much consoling each other like there’d been a bereavement in the family, and this reincarnation is quite frankly awful. It turns my stomach to see a person who is completely stuck in the past and who has no original ideas (and I thought Richard Ashcroft was alone in that naughty corner!).

Is Noel supposed to be getting a solo project? If so, how much will that project be rubbish in comparison? I’m betting it’ll be about 10% less rubbish, but that’s only because Noel can actualy sing a tune (er, sometimes, “Falling Down” was alright) – any takers on this bet? To be honest though I can’t imagine a song getting much worse than this.

At this point I’d like to say to the members of the jury that I was hesitant about pushing the play button when I saw the font that Beady Eye was written in. I also thought that the faded look of the photograph was suspicious, and suspected from the start that this was going to be exactly what it turned out to be: a rubbish Beatles song that wouldn’t be a D-side.

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