I’m not a fan of Queen at all.
Queen are the bastion of all things middle-aged-man. Queen can be heard playing at every social occasion where age groups are brought together, they can be heard on every karaoke machine and have soundtracked the lives of many a man. Which is exactly why I don’t like them. I can’t listen to anything by Queen without having a horrible image of dad-dancing. Not specifically my dad dancing but the type of dad who perhaps might have let his hair grow, mistakenly, so it’s straggly on the ends and exaggerates that thinning, balding patch on the top of the head. Who wears waistcoats. And completes their music collection with Status Quo, sin of sins. They make me think of Martin Kemp, who provided the reasons why Queen were the best band ever on I’m In A Rock’n’Roll Band. Which is terrible, because there’s something horribly slimy and newt-like about him. The Spandau Ballet factor.
Those were the numerous reasons that I don’t like Queen. I won’t be moved on this subject. So I’m not very excited by the fact that Peter Morgan is writing a script for a new Queen biopic. Because the cinemas will be filled with Kemp-a-likes, which is a terrible turn-off. No, the only reason that I’m interested in this is because of the casting of Freddie Mercury. Okay, you probably all know who it is already, but dun-dun-DUUUN, it’s Sacha Baron Cohen:
“That’s Niiice” (in a Borat voice. Doesn’t really work in print, does it?). Yes Mr. Cohen is going to be Freddie Mercury. The question, then, is why? Well, Sacha is best known for his roles as spoof people who go and irritate others in real-life situations, causing scandal. But you might remember he was also in Sweeney Todd. Remember that? Well, he didn’t do an awful lot of warbling in the film, but he was there, giving it what-for. To land the role, he also had to sing in the audition so he must have some pretty decent vocal chords going on there (but then again, he likes doing voices, so maybe this isn’t such a surprise).
Plus, if we only learned one thing from Borat, it’s that Sacha looks good with a ‘tache:
So that might settle it then. Besides, with the flamboyant tendencies of his creations, surely Sacha can’t mess up being a flamoyant person who actually existed? Isn’t that logical? Well, only time will tell. At least we covered the reasons why Mr. Borat will be Mr. Mercury, even if it was a little… quickly.
But we did discover why I don’t like Queen.
What do you think? Should Sacha Baron Cohen really play Freddie Mercury?